Irresistable Force
Some things I have managed to move on from and do ok, and then all in a matter of days, it is all I think about and want. I can't escape. There are songs that remind me of it, there are movies, commercials, people, little notifications that pop up everywhere. I should remove these things to ward off the temptation, but alas it is all I have left and getting rid of those things will be like losing it all over again. And it really can't be controled. I have no control over it. It creeps into my thoughts, it comes into my dreams, and it lurks everywhere.
Why are the things that are bad for you, or you think or told are bad for you, so so so very good? I keep hoping that these urges pass, but I just have no self control sometimes. Talking about not having control, just makes me want it more, admiting wanting it, makes me want it more. I thought denial was a bad place, but now I know that admiting cravings is not any better. It make me feel vulnerable and that makes me want to succumb to my vices even more. My id is out of control. I want to be bad...and I will pay.
Why are the things that are bad for you, or you think or told are bad for you, so so so very good? I keep hoping that these urges pass, but I just have no self control sometimes. Talking about not having control, just makes me want it more, admiting wanting it, makes me want it more. I thought denial was a bad place, but now I know that admiting cravings is not any better. It make me feel vulnerable and that makes me want to succumb to my vices even more. My id is out of control. I want to be bad...and I will pay.
posted by bridget | 11:29 AM
2 Comments:
let me guess....the nicotine!!!!
Ah the id can be a good thing and then again it can be a bad thing. Sometimes I think we just have to give into our id because if we don't it will literally drive us crazy. Other times I think that by denying our cravings or the thing we want the most we're actually denying that which we truly want. I guess it's the whole "which came first the chicken or the egg" thing !! Hang in there.
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